Explosions
by realornotreal22
Summary: It was never supposed to be you!" This is my take on the whole 'Rose is pregnant with Derek's baby' joke. I'm not that big of an angsty person, but I've decided to give this one a shot. MerDer, as always. Full summary inside. Please read and review!
1. Prologue

_Author's Note: Okay, so I wasn't nearly satisfied with the season premiere. I did not think there was enough _real _conflict, so I wrote this little fic. I know the prospect of Rose carrying Derek's baby is dramatic and completely disastrous, but this fic is gonna have fun twists and turns that show our characters loyalty, fears, love, and anything else you can possibly imagine. There might be some results that completely catch you off guard. Please read and review!_

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"Look, I don't really know how to tell you this, so I'm just gonna come out and say it. I'm carrying your child, Derek."

Derek stood before her, in front of the infamous surgery board, at a loss for words. He was sure that he'd heard her incorrectly; sure that the last sentence out of her mouth was a lie, a cruel joke even. His jaw dropped slowly, his eyes grew round, and sweat began to trickle from his scalp and onto his forehead as the silence between them grew deafening. His mouth formed soundless words, all ending with a resounding question mark. Rose crossed her arms, shifting her weight to her left foot in order to allow the right to begin tapping the tiled floor in impatience. He shook his head slightly, not knowing what she expected from him.

"Derek?!" She said firmly. "Did you _hear _me?? I said I'm pregnant with _your _baby!"

Her obnoxiously loud shrill pulled him rather roughly from his dumbfounded reverie. He forcefully grabbed her upper arm and dragged her to the nearest empty exam room.

"Will you keep it down?! I don't need the whole damn hospital telling my girlfriend about this horrible bombshell you've just dropped on me!" He whispered vehemently through clenched teeth as he shut the door behind them.

"Horrible bombshell?" She asked, slightly wounded, anger bubbling up inside her.

"Yes! How did you think I would react, Rose?" He asked, anger bubbling up inside him as well. "Did you think I would throw my hands up in excitement and immediately go out and buy little baby clothes?!"

"No! But I did expect something other than a dumbfounded expression and a raised voice!" She retorted and turned on her heal, for she found it impossible to stare into his cold blue eyes any longer.

He sighed loudly and forcefully plopped himself onto the nearest chair, roughly running his hand through his dark brown locks in the process. He jammed his elbows into his thighs before letting his face fall into his open palms. He rubbed his temples, doing his best to calm down before attempting to speak again. When he felt as though the cauldron of dark red liquid residing in his stomach had ceased bubbling, he removed his hands from in front of his face and stood.

"What're we gonna do here, Rose?" He asked, quietly. "I've never been in this situation before and I am not the type of guy that will just walk away and pretend like you don't exist, but I am with Meredith now. I _love _Meredith. More than anyone that I know. Despite these circumstances, I'm not going to leave her and start a life with you. I just- I just cannot do that to her, to me. We've spent way too much time apart as it is, what with Addison and Meredith's mother and every other damn thing that has wedged itself between us. I'm _not _gonna let this get between us because we have worked too damn hard for that to happen again. She's in it for good and so am I."

Rose stared out the window, watching the snow drift lazily from the sky and landing gracefully upon the already pearly white surface. During his speech, her eyes had unexpectedly filled with tears as she heard the adamancy in his voice. As a lone tear spilled upon her slightly pink cheek, she angrily swiped it away and whipped around to face him, disbelief etched on her features.

"And what am I supposed to do, huh? This isn't only _my _responsibility!" She said, pointing to her flat stomach. "I didn't get myself pregnant! This is as much your responsibility as mine, so don't you _dare _stand there and ask me what to do, then tell me that you're in love with _Meredith_ and that you'll _never _leave her for me, _despite _the fact that I'm carrying _your _child!" She yelled, gesturing wildly.

"You're not supposed to be carrying my child!" He yelled back. "It's not supposed to be you! I was _never _in love with you! I was _never _over Meredith and you knew that! You knew all of that! After all those times you questioned me about my feelings for her, you _knew _that I wasn't over her! And yet you _still _insisted that we go out and have sex and just _pretend _that I wasn't in love with another woman! And, yes, I'll admit it; I did go along with it all because I wanted to _believe _that I was getting over Meredith, but I knew it was all bull shit. I know that I used you and I'm sorry about that. I'm sorry for using you as the rebound to make something happen between me and Meredith, but you _knew _what I was doing. I _know_ you knew, but you just went along with everything!"

Derek stopped, his breathing a little labored. He took a deep breath and shook his head, refusing to look at Rose. She placed her hands on her hips, glaring at his retreating back.

"So what if I knew?! I thought that you'd get over her! It looked like you would! Every time we were together, you seemed to be more with me! It became really rare when you would get quiet and start thinking about her. You seemed to actually _be _there! I thought you were getting over her, so I kept it going!"

He sighed again, turning slightly to face her angry form.

"What do you want from me, Rose?" He asked in a monotone.

"I want you. I want you to leave Meredith. I want you to be with me. I want you to help me raise this baby. I want _you_." She whispered with emphasis.

He shook his head slowly and blinked to break the eye contact between them. He looked down and whispered the words that froze her to the spot.

"I'm sorry, I can't do that."

And with those parting words, he turned the doorknob and left Rose standing stock-still in the middle of the empty exam room.

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_Okay, so I know Derek seems like kind of an ass in this, but I thought she was being kind of a bitch by telling him at work and yelling about it so the whole surgical floor could hear. I figured she deserved a little reality check. Please review! _


	2. A talk with Dr Bailey

_Author's Note: Sooo here's another chapter! I hope you like it! Please read and review! Thanks_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's Anatomy or it's characters…unfortunately. _

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As he closed the door behind him, he smiled and nodded at the nurses who were sitting at the desk directly across from the exam room. He put on this very convincing façade only to crush any curious stares and whispers emitting from the nurses as he walked briskly to the nearest on-call room. He opened the door and quickly shut it behind him, letting his back and head rest against the hard, wooden surface. He took at deep breath, desperately trying to control himself and keep his emotions in check. When he found he couldn't, he let his body slide down the door until he ended up sitting on the floor with his legs sprawled out in front of him. He thought about Meredith and how great everything had been going. He thought about how much he loved her, about the candles, about their romantic night in his trailer. He thought about everything they'd been through and everything they'd overcome. Then he thought about Rose and what just happened in the exam room, which resulted in him picking up the item nearest to him and chucking it across the room.

"DAMN IT!!" He yelled.

He jumped oddly as the blanket of the bed farthest from him began to take the form of a human body. The person sat up and stared at the man on the floor who was making the offending sounds that caused her to wake.

"What the hell?" Bailey yelled, fixing her gaze upon him. "Boy, are you crazy? You don't just walk into an on-call room and start yelling and throwing things! People are _sleeping _in here! That's what these rooms are for, even though you all think otherwise!"

Derek sighed and opened his mouth to try to excuse his behavior.

"What's got you all riled and crazy?" She interrupted.

"Nothing. Sorry for waking you." He stood and reached for the doorknob, but Bailey stopped him.

"What's wrong?" she asked, standing from her seated position and walking over to Derek.

"Just-It's just some personal issues. I'm fine." He said, trying to shrug it off.

Bailey placed her hands on her hips and raised her eyebrows, indicating that she didn't buy the act.

"You just woke me up outta a sound sleep, so I really don't appreciate the brush off, Dr. Shepherd." She said, crossing her arms underneath her breasts.

He walked passed her and sat on the nearest bed, gingerly rubbing his face as he went. She followed him with her eyes, watching as he ran his hands through his hair.

"Are you and Meredith having problems again?" She asked as she sat down beside him. He glanced at her, wondering how to answer that question.

"Not really. No…" He trailed off, shaking his head slowly. "It's about Rose."

"Rose? The scrub nurse you used to get Meredith jealous?"

He turned to her, slightly offended. She gave him one of her infamous Bailey stares and he turned away, abandoning the look of offense.

"I kinda hoped that going out with Rose would've pushed Mer to take action…_demand _that I be with her, like she did after Addison showed up." Derek whispered humbly.

Bailey's expressed alternated between pity and incredulity at this confession. She considered scolding him with a sarcastic _'Men are so naïve and stupid'_, but settled on a sympathetic and reasonable question.

"Did you really think she would put herself out there like that again after you turned her down the first time?" She asked gently.

He sighed and shook his head, letting his back rest against the wall.

"No." He said quietly, letting his arms rest on his knees. "I just…"

"Hoped she would." Bailey finished for him.

He nodded and sighed again, contemplating whether or not this conversation was a good idea. He rested his head against the wall and closed his eyes for a second.

"God, I've been so unfair to Meredith." He whispered out of the blue. "When I met her, it just seemed right. I didn't go up and talk to her because I was trying to get over what Addison did by having sex with a gorgeous girl I met in a bar…I went up to her because I just had a feeling that I was supposed to. I know that doesn't make much sense, but words can't really describe what I felt when I saw her. I was just…happy to be with her. And when I saw her at Seattle Grace the next day, I just knew that I was gonna fall in love with her. In fact, I'm fairly certain I was already falling in love with her, now that I think about it. Everything was great; we were great, she was great…then Addison showed up and I broke Meredith's heart because I wanted to be the noble guy; the guy who stuck with his wife even though she cheated on him and he'd fallen in love with another woman…She wanted me, she loved me, and I _still _picked Addison. When you think about it, that really wasn't the most noble thing; I went back to the woman who hurt me and I ended up hurting the woman I'd started a relationship with, who I'd lied to, who had been nothing but amazing. Trying to work on our marriage wasn't noble; it was fucking stupid. And when I finally came to my senses and figured out that Meredith was the one that I should be with and she took me back, I pushed her. I pushed her because I wanted more. I didn't want the occasional love making in the on-call rooms, the occasional night at my trailer or her place; I wanted commitment, I wanted forever. I pushed her; and when she wasn't ready to give it all, and why would she be? I hadn't given her any reason to trust me, I left her with an ultimatum. And when she didn't have an answer, I gave up and went out with Rose. I am such a- a jackass, that's what I am. And this is what I get, right? Now that everything's going good, this has to bite me in the ass! I deserve it, I know I do. But Meredith, Meredith doesn't deserve this…" Derek trailed off, banging the back of his head against the wall in anger and frustration.

Bailey stared at him, inquisitive look in place.

"Rose is pregnant." He said heavily.

"Oh, boy, please tell me that you're joking." She said, shaking her head.

"I _really _wish I was." He said, scratching the side of his face lightly.

"And it's yours?" She asked, already knowing the answer.

"She says it is. I have no other reason not to believe her. I mean, we did have sex, so there's definitely a possibility it is."

"Oh, please tell me you aren't thinking about leaving that girl by herself and not taking responsibility for this. Because if you are, I'm gonna slap you upside the head right now." She said, rather mother-like.

Derek shook his head, eyebrows furrowed.

"No. I wasn't thinking about doing that. I would feel terrible about helping bring a child into this world and not taking part in its life." He said, without hesitation.

"Well, that's good because that child didn't elect to be conceived. It doesn't deserve to be shit on before it's even born."

Despite the situation, Derek laughed lightly at her choice of words.

"And what does Rose want? Did you ask?" She wondered aloud.

"Yeah…she wants me to marry her, live with her, and raise the baby with her."

Bailey eyed him suspiciously before speaking.

"Derek Shepherd, if you break Meredith's heart one more time because you think it's the noble thing, I'm gonna make sure you'll never be able to do another noble thing the rest of your life." She warned.

"What? I have no intention of leaving Meredith and raising a baby with Rose!"

She gave him one of those feared Nazi glares before continuing.

"You better not be leaving her. She's had to endure way too much from your sorry ass. You know, you can help raise that child without breaking the heart of the woman you love. Plenty of children have parents that aren't together and they're perfectly fine. You don't have to live with the child and its mother in order to be a good father. As long as you're there for that child in every way possible, you're doing your job." She said adamantly.

Derek smiled, knowing that no matter what he would be.

"I know. I don't plan on abandoning Meredith or the baby."

"Well good. Now that we've established that, the only thing left for you to do is tell Meredith before anyone else does." Bailey said.

"Anybody else? Who else would tell her?" He asked.

"I have a feeling that you and Rose weren't very quiet when you had that conversation." She said, raising her eyebrows in question.

"I was quiet." Derek mumbled.

"That's what I thought. If Meredith hears if from someone else, she'll never forgive you."

He groaned and moved to get off the bed.

"I know. I gotta find her."

"Yeah, you do. Now, I'm gonna _try_ to get another 10 minutes in, if we're done here." She said, crossing her arms.

"Thanks, Miranda."

"Yeah, yeah. Now get moving!"

He walked to the door, but stopped just short of the knob.

"Sorry for disrupting your sleep, Dr. Bailey."

"Nine minutes!" She yelled.

Derek laughed and left to find Meredith.

"Jesus, that boy can talk up a storm. Comes running in here, slamming doors and throwing things and yelling. I shoulda smacked him upside the head instead of listening to his naïve, pitiful ass. Talked for twenty minutes…" She trailed off as she drifted off to sleep.

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_I hope you liked it! The next chapter should be up soon!_


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